Coach Wendy, Personal trainer and nutrition coach
We all know what a “safe place” means. Most people are pretty aware of some places that are not safe to go to. When we think of a safe place we usually think of some place that we are not in danger of being hurt. Rarely do we use “safe place” to describe a person. Recently I spent some time studying the importance for us to make ourselves a “safe place”. When we are getting through hurts and issues in our own lives, sometimes we take things out on others. To those we lash out on or judge, we are not being a safe place. Through studying the Word of God and my own transformation, I recently had a clear revelation about people who are not a “safe place”. I already knew that I should stay away from people who are not a safe place, but there had to be more, right? I was able to come up with lots of things that define what makes a person unsafe, and then I thought, “ok, so what good is knowing without application?” I began to think of ways I can actually be a safe place. My intention is not to attack anyone for being unsafe. Doing so would make me unsafe. My intention is to encourage myself and even you, to ask the question, “Am I a safe place?” It is important to me that I have a desire for my face book page and website to be a safe place. Many people pour their hearts out to me, some for the first time in their lives. We are all in search of something better for our future, and when we approach someone we come fully clothed and protected from all the world’s hurts. As we feel comfortable, we slowly take off our layers of self-protection until we stand vulnerable sometimes on social media in front of people we do not even know. And that is where the healing can begin, or could end if someone brutally attacks us while we are standing in our vulnerability. When we pass judgment on someone out of the hurt and warped world we are coming from, we are not considered a “safe place”. It takes a clear consciousness to communicate with others when you are going through your own wounds. You must stop and think before you speak,” How can I be a safe place?” At some points in our life we will encounter a person who is not a safe place and before we realize what and how, they have said something to attack our character that could devastate us. This happened to me recently. Because (thank God) I am healed in many ways- I was able to stand back and realize this person is not a safe place. My knee jerk reaction was to attack back- that is when I realized I MUST be a safe place. I must love, forgive and pray for. After all, my full time job is to control my actions and reactions. I have no control over others actions. So by saying all this, I want to proclaim that I will pay attention to my motives and actions doing everything I can do to make me a “safe place”. Then I can provide a safe environment for others that are healing. If you know someone who is not a “safe place” it may be a good idea to let them know they are not being a safe place and then pray for them as they get through their healing. People act differently as they get through their hurts. You can be a safe place while you are healing your own. You just need awareness. Attacking others is not an acceptable way to get through your issues. My question for everyone to ask themselves today is, “Am I a safe place?” Focus on YOU!