Loneliness

Loneliness

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

“Loneliness is a complex and usually unpleasant emotional response to isolation or lack of companionship. Loneliness typically includes anxious feelings about a lack of connection or communication with other beings, both in the present and extending into the future. As such, loneliness can be felt even when surrounded by other people. The causes of loneliness are varied and include social, mental, emotional or even physical factors.

Research has shown that loneliness is widely prevalent throughout society among people in marriages, relationships, families, veterans and successful careers.[1] It has been a long explored theme in the literature of human beings since classical antiquity. Loneliness has also been described as social pain—a psychological mechanism meant to alert an individual of isolation and motivate them to seek social connections”

There you have it.

Loneliness.

The definition as brought by Wikipedia.  I’m thinking everyone can relate to one or more of those things at times. If I sound selfish in this blog- please forgive me for that.

No one knows loneliness as I am feeling right now. But there is solace in knowing that many are lonely at this time. That is the only true comfort for me -knowing that others are there and have been there too. You see I am truly alone right now. My feelings have gone from desperation to knowing that there is only true comfort in God. That’s the truth. Because when you are truly alone, for whatever reason, it is just you and God. The feeling, if any have felt it, when we realize our death.

The time when it is just me and God

I have lost a true friend who has been released into the hands of the Lord our Savior Jesus Christ. And it was her time, clearly, but for me, she was the only true companion I have had lately. Weird as it was, she was a widow whom I befriended. No one would have ever believed it, but I can still remember the first time I visited her after her husband passed. Wondering what I was doing there and why I had gone. After each day went on and our relationship grew, I know what I was doing. I was lonely and so was she; we had each other to share with . And she was 94 years old when she passed yesterday. The first few years after she lost her husband, she talked of him all the time. But the last few years, she talked about everything else under the sun. We had great talks. I think of the times I had to yell because she didn’t have a hearing aid (which she finally got) and the times that we just sat together and would hold each other, the tears, although few, were there.

She was a true friend and someone I could call any time and go see. She didn’t drive. But that was ok. She couldn’t see real well, but she always knew I was approaching her. She had good days and bad days. That was ok. I was there through it all. Really. No one will ever know how precious the time we spent together was. No one but her, me and God. No one will ever know the capacity which we shared so many valuable moments. I will cherish each and every one of them, and It will be something I think about and remember each time I think to call her or go by. I will miss Hanna Linkous with a deep passion in my heart soul and mind. But this ultimately will be ok, because I know she is where she needs to be. With the man she spent her life on this earth with, in the arms of the ever loving God. This blog could be real long, and it would never do our relationship justice. But it is here in my heart, all the times, and places and people. It was beautiful and it has ended. Sad for me, not for her.

Life goes on and I must heal. But I will always remember you Hanna and the love you brought to my heart. Two of the last things she said to me were,” I love you very, very, very much” as she caressed my face with her feeble little hand, and ”I’m ready to go home”  and img_0037 she did  just that.  Thanksgiving Day 2016.

RIP Hanna, I love you very, very, very much!

Another Funeral

This post is about funerals. I have been to 2 funerals the past 2 weekends. One was a middle age man, yesterdays was an older lady. You may say I have become a professional mourner, or so it feels. But these funerals have something in common that may surprise you, if not myself. You see I have avoided funerals like the plague after my grandmothers, but really that was the most tragic event I could have attended, since I did not understand. My walk with Christ wasn’t as deep as it is now, and my lack of Biblical knowledge was shaky at best.

But yesterday I realized, one thing is certain, that both of these fine people who have left this earth have done just that, left this earth to be in the Glory of the Lord forever and ever. Can I get an Amen?

The Pastor put it rather profoundly yesterday as I sat there in awe of the legacy this woman had left and the lives she had touched. He said have you ever tried to explain colors to a blind person? To one who had been blind from birth, known nothing but darkness their entire life. Only black and maybe some shades of light, maybe. Try to explain color to them, like the green trees, the blue skies the white sands, or anything for that matter. They can try their hardest to imagine it, but really they may never get it right.

Be still for a minute and think about how in the Bible we are given descriptions of how heaven looks and how God looks and all the things that we will see when we get there. Think about it, and then stop. Realize that we are like the blind person trying to imagine colors. Will anyone ever get it right? I doubt it.

I believe that I will live on this earth being blessed and being a blessing to others each day of my life, and then one day, I will be swept away into the eternal abyss of the place called heaven where I will meet my creator face to face. I believe this mostly because I am a Christian and this gives me hope. But now my understanding will help me to attend these celebrations of life on this earth with a joy in my heart. A joy and mostly a peace I could never have come close to knowing had I not had this awesome walk with the Lord my savior, and known of His love for me and us.

As I close, I think of my Pastor, Larry Linkous and the love he has shown everyone he comes in contact with each day. He is my mentor.

 

 

 

Another Birthday!

Turning 54 years old last week was quite different than I thought it would be. “Just another birthday” most would say. Including me, until I had it. Long lost are all the memories of the last few years, all the things I have done, places I have been and mostly the people I have encountered. On to new things. We typically hope it will be better than last year. That is my hope at least. But I will say my body doesn’t like being 54. I guess all the years of working out, eating right (or what I thought was right) and living this crazy but routine and disciplined life, has left me looking, well, rather haggard. There is definitely a difference in my physical appearance. That bothers me. It is one thing to age; it’s another to look like you’re aging. When will it be time to turn in my clothing for the older women clothes? Allow my hair to be cut short and turn grey? Watch before my eyes (if I can see) how my once beautiful and tight skin ages every month? Realize that I lose muscles that used to be a regular part of myself and watch as they become lose skin… I always said and believed muscle does not and cannot turn into fat. Well It is, and it does (or so it seems).

As I lose it rapidly, there are places on my once perfect body that have no business hanging or sagging. But they do. Nothing I can say or do will defy the old age that I am becoming. And it all seems so weird. I have seen the article’s about embracing old age, well I guess I have to embrace it, because it is happening whether I like it or not. I even thought of joining AARP yesterday. What does one do when they get to a place that is so different than they have ever known? I really don’t know how to act, what to do, who I will be. I don’t know anything except it’s real, and it’s here. I’m single and alone in the process of aging, that’s not what I expected….. but the best laid plans… or so it is said.

Can I last another 50 years? If so who will be there for me? Where will I live, where will I go and what will I do? Those are some questions in my mind right now. And every day as it unfolds then disappears before me; I wonder what tomorrow will bring my way. Does it seem like I am bored or maybe I deserve this inquisitive mind. I don’t know, I really don’t know but right now is not a great time to ask the Coach about ageing. I don’t have any good answers. I do not mean to seem down on it, but my grandmother, and everyone’s grandmother for that matter, used to say, “Getting old is not for sissies!” Humph. Call me a sissy… I just don’t like it!

Hormones

“Can it be hormones?”,  I get asked frequently.  Even when I was younger I used to look at someone with a slight bit of skepticism and say, “yeah, maybe”…. Not really knowing for sure. Well I am here to tell you, I know for sure now. YES The answer is Yes! It can be and it probably is. If you were always lean and you could eat anything and never gain a pound, and now your diet is clean and you exercise like a fiend but you still pack on fat in the hips, thighs, and stomach, if you recently have gone through the change of life,  then yes, it is hormonal. That’s all I can say about that.

I will have mine checked again in a few months once I have gotten through the entire menopause thing, and I bet they will be so low almost non existent. Then I have some decisions to make. Hormone therapy decisions. This is really discouraging. to know that with just the change of hormones my entire body is changing. So if anyone ever wonders what is going on with you, my answer is this,  we have to make a show or something entitled, “It IS the Hormones” then maybe, just maybe, someone will believe it.

Coach Wendy

I am a Christian

As a Christian, I’m not perfect, I was lost, now I am found and forgiven.

As a Christian, I don’t speak with pride, I will stumble along my journey, but Jesus Christ is my guide (when I listen)

As a Christian, I’m no stronger than you,  I am weak but through Christ I have been given strength.

As a Christian, I am not bragging of my success, I have admitted my failures; God is there to help me stay on the right track.

As a Christian, I am not claiming to be perfect, my flaws are numerous, But God says I am worthy of all things, and perfect through His love.

As a Christian  life is not all roses for me, I still feel pain and heartache, but I have a comforter in all mighty God who soothes me in those times.

As a Christian, I am not holier than thou, I am sinner saved by the grace Jesus Christ has offered to me and you!

As a Christian, I am not a member of any particular religion; I have a relationship with the one God who is my Lord, Savior and my salvation.

I choose to follow Him the best I can, ultimately I am a Christian with all other Christians joined together in the love of Jesus Christ.

That’s what I mean when I say I am a Christian.

“This is an unauthorized adaptation taken from an original poem entitled, When I say I am a Christian, copyright 1988 Carol Wimmer”
Original work is located at www.whenisayiamachristian.com

Coach Wendy

Happy Resurrection Day! He Lives!

Menopause Belly- Part 2

 

After posting the article I wrote last week, I have heard from others regarding what they are going through with menopause. Mostly, it is not good. I have had a few tell me its better once they get through it, I have heard from others that they didn’t notice any weird changes at all, besides an occasional hot flash. I have heard from the majority of women that it was the most terrible thing in their world. In other words like I said in the previous article about how we all go though it differently, I have heard and now confirmed that we all go through this differently. In my previous article I mentioned that I am not using any kind of hormones, and I must stress that for the purpose of conveying what I am here, this is a hormone free article. As an aside, there are those who have had female reproductive organs removed surgically, some women on and off birth control pills, those who are using bio identical hormones, those who use Doctor prescribed hormones and those who use herbs to settle the symptoms. This is not an article on any of that. I am NOT using anything, I do have all my parts. This article is being written for those who can relate.

One goal for me is to maintain outward physical health. I must attack it from this approach. Some of you may not care about a few extra pounds or may be going through menopause just fine. But this article is for those like me who seriously want to shed some extra menopause fat, and battle the symptoms that come along with it. Ultimately we are watching our body changing from womanhood to older woman hood!

First and foremost I will say this, if the extra weight is indeed caused by menopause, you did not have the extra weight prior to menopause, and you are sitting there bewildered wondering what’s happening to you before your eyes , then maybe you are like me and we can get through this together. Menopause is not something that I take lightly. It is real and it is crazy. But remember this- it is not an excuse and will not be an excuse for laziness. Would I love to sit in front of the television and just chill with some Ben& Jerrys and whatever else comfort food I have? Yes!! But the effects menopause will have on my body if I were to do that would be tremendous. It is scary.

So, without further ado, I will start to outline what I am doing.

First, I have re-opened “My Fitness Pal” app. I am serious about everything I do so I must start where I can be accountable. I have my calories set at 1550 per day. This is MY goal. Now the big question is do I register my exercise daily to add extra calories to my 1550 total each day? Well yes and no. I exercise each day, when I am extra hungry I add the exercise, when I am not hungry, I don’t. It works for me. Really it does. I believe in staggering your caloric intake anyway and this gives me a feeling that I am doing that and doing what my body needs to lose the weight. Second, I have eliminated sugar, once again, from my diet. Technically the thyroid, adrenals and cortisol go to low or high levels while going through menopause. I am not so sure it goes crazy due to the amount of sugar we put into our bodies or just our hormones changing. Whether that is the cause or not, eliminating sugar has worked for me to get all that in order in the past and resulted in major weight loss. It should work for anyone. If eliminating sugar seems to be a key for all of you who are serious about losing weight, then why is it so hard? If you say to me, “I can’t do that” And come up with several different excuses why you can’t, I can say this; “If you do what you have always done, you will get what you always have gotten”… …

To sum it up, this is where my journey through menopause starts. Eliminating sugar, holding myself accountable to my caloric intake, and exercising to win. My exercise routine has become defined again and I am on a mission. You can choose to do things that increase your comfort levels, like eat junk and relax, or you can choose not to do those things. Don’t give into it; try to find other things to take your time up. Believe me, at times it is hard, extremely hard, but every time I succeed is a time I am so much happier in the long run. I take small steps, baby steps. All the things we know to do and have come to know so well. After all we are grown now and wiser, lets grab this bull by the horns and ride though it together.

Now, Tell me what steps you have taken to return to yourself?

Coach Wendy

Menopause Belly

I am a personal trainer and I take what I do very seriously. Although I charge for my services it is not my plan to ever sell you something you don’t need for the sake of getting wealthier. My clients are in need of me for whatever I offer each one of them, and I will always be up front with them. This is my up front rant for the day, week or month…

I am sick of hearing how all these male fitness professionals have the cure for the menopause belly! Really? I am sick of reading articles from guys, not only are they guys, they are young guys. My gosh, I didn’t ever think I would get a menopause belly when I was young. In fact when I was young I was in every bit of great shape I could ever be in. If you look at my unadulterated photos from when I hit 50, up until I was 52, I was lean, mean and had abs. Here I am a couple years later, nothing has changed except my age,  my hormones and guess what, now my body. Am I struggling to get lean again? You betcha, and the key word here is struggling. This is no joke. I do not take or use artificial hormones. Not yet anyway. It is scary stuff. I am watching my levels dwindle to nothing. But when you are female your hormones change each and every day. Even emotions can change them. And as we go through menopause, the hormone changes are unreal. What is one to do? Use bio identical hormones, which are supposedly safer than premarin or some nasty thing that can be filled at a pharmacy? With your hormones changing constantly how do you know the correct amount? Is there ever really a correct amount? Well I am finding out the hard way and to the day, I just don’t know. So if I have to endure another article selling a program to rid myself of this menopausal fat, I think I will puke. I would love to tell each one of these expert men that they have not a clue. They are clueless. So I imagine their response to me would be, “well just because you are struggling, why does that make us clueless?” My response, “Because you are not a women, you are not in my age group, you are not going through menopause and do not have a belly that is growing before your eyes.”

I am fitness professional. I work out and eat well. I live a lifestyle of ultimate health. I do not abuse my body in any way. But here I am perplexed at all the so called experts out there, all the while watching myself and my friends who are going through menopause enduring changes that may last a lifetime.

We must remember that we each are different, we all have different hormones and they change daily. So what is the key you ask? Exercise daily, eat healthy, get enough sleep and endure less stress. Don’t allow “stress eating” to get you, embrace the few extra pounds and the belly and go on with everyday life as is. Don’t freak out when you see young women with tight beautiful skin, no wrinkles and no fat!! This is the new life for you. Go into it gradually and continue to do your thing, but know there WILL be changes that ARE inevitable!! The body changes will come and there is nothing you can naturally do for that! No program, no diet, no pill, no anything. There is NO miracle cure. Your hormones are changing and getting weaker, and so are you. But this too will plateau like everything in life. Once you come out on the other side, now you will have a new body to work with. I am attempting to hold onto my youth as long as I can, but things have changed for me. I know it, I can’t do what I used to do, nor can you. Now if you choose to take hormones, artificial or bio identical then that is your decision and trust in the medical system. .

As for me I am drug free, God knew what HE was doing when he made me. I am sure I can live a long healthy life despite my extra fat cells and a lot less hormones feeding into my system. Each day that passes will tell. Yes this is a process, unlike anything I have experienced. But whatever you do please don’t buy into all that jargon that these young fitness professionals are trying to sell you. They are too young and if they know a woman who looks great during menopause I would venture to say she is using something. And it typically is altering her hormones in some way. And yes there are women with great awesome genetics, so those would be the exception to the rule, but if they are telling you it’s a breeze through menopause, and then just tell them their genetics are different from yours. I am sure we all go through this differently. But you can be sure that this trainer is going through it now and battling every step I can. I will let you know how I came out in the other side. And I will not be selling you any information on how to lose the menopause belly… Coach Wendy

Pre-Coaching Survey

If anyone is interested in becoming a client of mine for life coaching, please click on the pre-coaching survey above and use the questionnaire. By answering the questions and submitting them , I will be in contact with you via email. At that point, we would determine if there is something I can “coach” you through in your life and we will discuss the options for coaching.

Coach Wendy

Life Coach Certification

While updating my certifications recently, I felt the need to go deeper into my studies, learning more about helping others. After talking to my peers in the business and reflecting on my life- where I have been and what I have done. I realized the best path to take which would complement my current certifications was to become a Life Coach. This was no easy task, a lot of time and money. Impacted further by my deep desire to assist others with issues they may face on a daily basis while achieving a goal. While on a “studying” roll, I also decided to specialize in Time management. Something I have a knack for without even studying about it. So it is with great pleasure and excitement that I venture into a new realm of open door opportunity with a Life Coach Certification.

I am a Certified Life Coach, Time Management Coach, Personal Trainer and Nutrition Coach.

What is a Life Coach? Life Coaching may be defined as a practice that involves assisting people to identify and realize their goals, dreams and aspirations by making them more self-aware and by developing their hidden and manifest talents and potential. The profession has diversified into a very large number of specialties, the most common ones being Personal Development Coaching, Business Coaching, Career Coaching, Executive Coaching, Health and Wellness Coaching and Relationship Coaching. The most crucial difference between Life Coaching and other ”therapy type” fields is that unlike the other practitioners, a life coach does not position him/herself as superior to the client, but as a partner and a confidante. I will be posting a full questionnaire on this website. I believe with my expertise that my niche may become Health and Wellness Coaching. This will be different than personal training in that my clients will not necessarily be in my area, so phone calls, emails and texts will be the form of communication. I will not lay out a workout plan or nutrition plan, which is not Life Coaching.

In a nutshell, I will be there to assist you in establishing your goal(s), and following through to meet your goal(s). There will be more posted as I add the changes to this website that will help others in understanding the Life Coach process and how I will coach you, if you choose.

Meantime, I will continue learning and start “coaching “someone soon!

Coach Wendy

What about Type II Diabetes?

There is so much talk lately about being overweight and eating properly that it can be overwhelming to listen to it. Now that I work in a hospital setting I hear more and more about Type II diabetes, or as most people call it these days, diabetes. It seems in the health and medical industry most people don’t understand that type II diabetes (adult onset) is reversible through the right diet and lifestyle choices. It is not the same as type I Diabetes!

In fact, the pharmaceutical industry and even some doctors will tell you that type II Diabetes can’t be reversed…the damage to the pancreas is “already done”, and you’re doomed to using harmful drugs for the rest of your life. It seems there has been a melding of type I diabetes with type II diabetes. Sometimes I wonder when it happened, because I missed it!

It BURNS me up every time I hear a type II diabetic tell me that their doctor told them there was nothing they could do to reverse their “diabetes”.  According to most doctors who are brainwashed by the typical western medicine mindset, you can only “manage” type II diabetes, not cure it. And you must use dangerous pills to do so. Example: I was watching television and an ad for Victoza came on, about 10 seconds of what good it does and literally 45 seconds (or more) of the side effects. Really? This is just ONE of many examples.

Well, coming from a certified personal trainer, on behalf of my physician friends who do believe, we can not only manage it but REVERSE it with the proper (and I mean proper) eating habits and exercise resulting in weight loss. The years I have trained, I have seen it reversed with my own eyes. Some people lose the extra weight  and there it goes. If it’s not a weight issue, then it’s what you are ingesting, clear and simple. I am the perfect example of a person who has healthy weight and gets lots of exercise. I found out through blood work I was on my way to type II diabetes, but the thought scared me to death. I stopped eating sugar, (notice the ‘Articles’ tab on my website all the sugar blogs) and then within a few months, I was better. I trained Ron Preacher, a man who was not only overweight, but dying of heart disease and type II diabetes. He went off sugar, lost 160 lbs and was “cured” of the diabetes (and heart attack) threat. Amazing. How do you explain that almost every type 2 diabetic that goes onto the popular TV show The Biggest Loser ends up completely reversing their diabetes usually in about 6 weeks?  If you’ve ever watched the show, you’ve even seen the doctors on the show explain to the contestant that they no longer have diabetes anymore.  And they did it all through diet and exercise. Wow, that tells me something.

Obviously we can’t all go on that show and dedicate that time to workouts. We can reverse type II diabetes, and without the grueling 4-6 hrs of exercise every day that they do on that TV show.  In fact, did you know that there is research showing that pancreatic beta cells that were damaged previously can be regenerated?  It’s true.

All it takes is a sensible eating plan aka lifestyle, (not the one the Dr. would suggest which uses popular artificial sweeteners to replace the sugar!) and daily exercise to lose the extra weight. Remember, if you are 100lbs or more over weight, it may take a year to lose it all, but if you have the diet correct and you exercise daily, you can do it. Many people will reverse it, and live healthy for a while, then gain back all that weight, or go crazy eating sugar, and it comes back. Hopefully, not you. Lastly it takes strong will and determination, something you must have for a lifetime! Like I say in my Motivation video, ”every single day of my life”. Living a new healthy life, you will live WITHOUT being doomed to testing your blood sugar every day, and risking neuropathy or amputations. That’s what type I and now type II diabetes can lead to. Crazy isn’t it?

Here’s to you and a healthy life!

Coach Wendy

Commitment to Health

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